Given that many things in the authentic Star Wars universe are terrible, it should be no surprise that many things in the Expanded Universe — those tales from the novels, comics, cartoons and all other non-movie Star Warsentities — are also terrible. But since the Expanded Universe is so damn big, its wretchedness reaches a scope beyond anything Lucas managed to inflict on the movies. Here are 12 stories, characters and events in the Star WarsExpanded Universe that even Jar Jar Binks would shake his head at.
1) Boba Fett and the Sarlacc
I’m not referring to the scene in Return of the Jedi, where supposed badass Boba Fett is accidentally knocked into the Sarlacc Pit by a nearsighted Han Solo. I’m also not referring to the standard fan belief that Fett was too badass to stay trapped in the Sarlacc, and escaped after the movie ended. No, I’m referring to the other completely separate time that Boba Fett fell into the goddamn Sarlacc, during the “Jawas of Doom” comic. After escaping it — well, being spit out, at least — an amnesiac Fett wandered through the Tatooine desert until he was picked up by the world’s stupidest group of Jawas, who thought he was a droid. The Jawas’ sandcrawler was then attacked by Han and Leia, in an attempt to rescue R2-D2, who the Jawas had also picked up somehow. after helping Han rescue R2, Fett suddenly remembered he hated Han Solo just in time for the Sandcrawler drive directly into the Sarlacc Pit. At least this time Fett had a pile of Jawas for company.